Again, it has been few days since my last entry.
I didn't expect that the time just fled silently from my palm.
Yes. I let it go. No one to blame but me.
Recently I just wanted to jeer at myself about being a teacher.
To be true, I taught my students how to set their own timetable,
how to grasp time to revise, how to..how to..and how to...
But I never followed my sensible voice.
I told myself to stay focused in learning English but I didn't.
Instead, I continued to be a "3-minute enthusiastic person".
Who can tell me am I right or wrong in this way?
Groaning at myself is my constant action though.
At least these are all my reflections.
This afternoon I started to pick up my piano lesson.
I missed Miss Shek very much. She was kind yet experienced at that time.
Tai Po was too far away if I had to go back there every week.
This miss is really short vertically.
To me, she is a super tiny and mini version of Berry.
Very skinny and seemed to be the production from an unknown famous sec.sch.
I couldn't say she knows how to teach but she was so far
enough to teach me during this stage.
You know I just pretended to be a six-graded student
but I got my grade 7 cert with a quite high score 127/150.
But I think that's the best way for me to pick up my lost fields gradually.
Now, I am a student with my own thoughts.
I forgot what did I think when I was still sitting in that cubic room.
I was young. I just had my half body devoted to a wrong man,
more than a quarter of it dedicated to my studies.
If you asked if I regret for what I did in the past. Definitely I will nod.
I spent my precious time with a rubbish. HOW COME!?
Then I just ruined my future. I could be stronger if I didn't meet all these.
Maybe that was my fate. I was determined to meet a bad guy
and learned a heavy lesson so that I wouldn't fall into traps again.
To me, I felt sad because I have to pick up the progress.
My age seemed not to be suitable for continuing the studies.
I don't have invincible excuses to play piano.
But I somehow told myself to FINISH it. What a pity if I kept on telling the others that
I am in Grade 7!!!!
She sat for an hour. Being a piano teacher is so easy in my grandma's mouth.
But I will say it is rather dull if I am a full-time piano teacher.
What you had to do is to sit and listen. Or to sightread to a student.
(for which the student can easily find a perfect version on YouTube)
The final and the most important step is "take the money and off I go, yeah~"
I quarreled with my grandmother tonight.
She said learning to play piano is the stupidest thing ever before.
"When can you be a piano teacher? When you graduate,
you can just learn your aunt to be a secretary!"
"What the hell I have to be a sec after I got a degree?
I will continue my master study."
"Then that girl just sat for an hour and off she got 220 dollars!"
"I didn't use your money to pay, I entered university as you wanted,
I got an exchange offer from an UK university! (..And I won you face !^&%@&^$*&)
What do you want from me now?"
I couldn't imagine how did I survive under that kind of pressure.
Her love partly lies on my achievement.
She told me not to be scared of not getting good results enough,
but she will only be satiated with my attainment.
Finally she can announce her granddaughter is so successful under her rulings.
My life.
Am I really controlling my life?
Or I am merely following the mainstream and the old routines taught by my family?
It hurts seriously whenever you see the truth crystal clear.
Would you agree this is teenage dream?
You taught me I couldn't have no regrets and love.
Becoz you ALWAYS REGRET and LOOKED BACK.
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