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你想知道的結果。
Mania Love:
- combination of ROMANTIC and PLAYING love
- troubled love
- has jealousy and dependence
- great intensity, some intimacy
- Manic lovers often have low self-esteem,
- place much importance on their relationship
- feel they "need" their partners.
- Love is a means of rescue, or a reinforcement of value.
- often discover their partners by random means
Addictive Love Relationship?
An addictive relationship =
one person who is extremely independent.
Sam believes he's entitled to whatever he wants
whenever he wants it. He surrounds himself
with people who support his opinions of himself.
+
The other partner is dependent and other-centered,
and willing to mirror whatever the first partner wants.
She's simply a reflection of him.
This is how addictive relationships work.
About addictive relationships Gorski says,
"It works until the other-centered person runs out of steam
one night and doesn't have
enough energy to mirror back what is needed.
The relationship is going to blow up.
7 Signs of Addictive Love Relationships
- Dishonesty. Neither Sam nor Debbie talks about who they are or what's really bothering them. They lie about what they want. This turns communication into an addictive relationship.
- Unrealistic expectations. Both Sam and Debbie think the other will solve their self-esteem, body image, family, and existential problems. They believe the "right relationship" will make everything better. Yet, they're in a disastrous addictive relationship.
- Instant gratification. Sam expects Debbie to be there for him whenever he needs her; he needs her to make him happy immediately. He's using her to make him feel good, and isn't relating to her as a partner or even a human being. She's a like drug. An addictive relationship drug.
- Compulsive control. Debbie has to act a certain way, or Sam will threaten to leave her. Both feel pressure to stay in this addictive relationship; neither feel like they're together voluntarily.
- Lack of trust. Neither partner trusts the other to be there when the chips are down. They don't believe the other really loves them, and they don't believe genuine caring or liking exists. At some level they know they're not in a healthy but rather in an addictive relationship.
- Social isolation. Nobody else is invited into their relationship – not friends, family, or work acquaintances. People in addictive relationships want to be left alone.
- Cycle of pain. Sam and Debbie are trapped in a cycle of pleasure, pain, disillusionment, blaming, and reconnection. The cycle repeats itself until one partner breaks free of the addictive relationship.
Addictive love relationships can change, if both partners are self-aware and willing to do what it takes. In some cases an objective viewpoint (such as counseling) helps; other times, self-control and mutual accountability are all that's needed to turn the addictive relationship around.
無論以上的資料對不對，
我都相信我跟你已經在一段不良的關係中。
在你眼中，我是個極端依賴的人。
你想逃。
你沒能力兼顧我。
我停止閱讀手上的日記。
最後一個CHAPTER，我幫你拆了。
因為我知道你一世都不要有指示的情況。
如果你寫都因為你曾經ADDICT於我，
今日你這樣的對待就是因為你再不需要我。
其實，無論我在你的學業、事業、人生上都支持不了你。
沒有利用價值，只令你不斷"付出"時間陪我，
聽我說你不想聽的東西。
你問清楚自己，你不要再欺騙自己。
「我唔講LA。」
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