莎拉的部落格

晚上READING還未完成。

突然記起兩星期前某男子趁我醉的時候叫我

KISS HIM, KISS HIM

哈。能把一個女子推給別人的男人，

執到請喊三聲！

再次證明，讀書成績同人格可以差天共地！

症狀持續且惡化

我對眼........................

香港的情人節晚上，英國的情人節早上。
因為胡亂吃藥而弄到眼睛敏感紅了一塊塊的我早上好期待，
好期待那三天的紅腫會退掉。
但別傻啦，昨天才吃藥，今天就會好嗎？
我心裡一直想去SOBAR星期二。
上星期他們說得有多興奮，星期二剛好是情人節咧！
可以大伙人出動喝酒，不是很好嗎？
單身不用自己一個留在HALL呆坐就已經很好了，不是嗎？

看著鏡子的那雙眼睛，
我問自己：我還是不是忠於自己，享受生命的我。
抑或今天，我迷失了自己，只會跟著刺激與新鮮感走，
傻傻的以為熱鬧會帶走寂寞，以為跟酒肉朋友一起可以拿到真心的關懷？
我來交流的意義是什麼，有沒有人可以告訴我？
當初我那麼努力讀大學，那麼努力爭取一個到外國交流的機會，
是不是因為要識個外國男朋友，或者玩一段不認真的愛情？

這幾天我病到五顏綠色，有沒有人那個人真心的關心我病情？
我甚至很怕別人看到我的樣子呢...
我走路時都低著頭，我希望不會遇到HALLMATES，
因為我太醜了...我習慣了星期二穿得美美的出去。
我習慣用我的假面目見人，哈。。
我習慣了當別人問how is it going 的時說 I am fine。
請問，我現在，身體那一個部分是fine 的？

對不起。
我錯了，親愛的天父，我錯了。
我曾想過化個濃妝，帶個暖包，再挑套戰衣出去。
但這些都為了什麼？為什麼我要拿自己的生命去做賭注？
我說過是為了聯誼，但今天我抱恙了為何會有種失落的感覺？
是因為今天情人節，我卻沒有情人？
其實我不是為了喝酒的我知道，我只是為了跟一班人吵吵鬧鬧。
但原來享受人多，才是寂寞的來源。

送一首歌給大家。
我花了一刻問自己今天有一個XYZ陪著會不會開心點。
但我的答案是否定而肯定的 :)
我寧願寂寞，也不會找一個不了解我心靈的人在一起。
我要求的幸福可能很罕有，但我仍然會堅持。

今天天氣很好，我呼吸了一大口冰涼的空氣。
看到玻璃的倒影，我才發現我曾答應自己的蛻變還未有完成。
不要放棄呀，親愛的佩儀！

得不到 也不要乞討
怎麼做 不需要別人 轉告
在陷得太深的海底
我也只剩下我自己 能依靠

我相信我已經快要 是真的我快要
快要可以微笑
去面對 下一個 擁抱

I haven't been taking care of this blog for long, even for my own written journey.

Feel a little bit sorry because of not facing my subtle feelings.

It's another week of learning, playing and of course adapting.

One thing to annouce here to prove that I tried really hard accomplishing all of them is

I AM SERIOUSLY SICK NOW.

I got sore throat mainly. It is swollen til elicited nausea.

I cannot reach doctor until Monday. And an Oxford trip is waiting for me tomorrow.

Temperature is said to drop strict down to -6 degree celcius.

I am not sure but no matter how I will go.

And I should go.

I have been to bar again, and of course kissed by unkowns.

I saw my flatmate just got hold by a man and they kissed passionately!

God knows who he is. Just a stranger!

Someone called Blake is also courageous enough to follow another flatmate and enter her room.

Unfortunately he was kicked out at night and advised to go home LOL.

THINGS just happened,,,maybe all the time, every second.

In UK, teenagers' pub life is in this way. Get drinks until getting tipsy and finally drunk,

until you are brave enough to perform the kissing and hugging you dare not to do in everyday life.

After hangovers, here comes the normal and ordinary way of life again, as a treadmill going on.

Last night, I visited a Portuguese friend. His sister and some friends came to his house

so together with his housemates, we cooked and enjoyed a dinner.

He is 25 years old, doing Physics master degree.

The reason why I mentioned him is because his maturity leads him to take care of the others.

He respected my decision and took care of me during the night.

He gave me aspirin and smoothers to relieve my pain and he asked me constantly how I feel.

I didn't intend to sleep overnight there of course but the last bus back to hall has stopped service...

I was forced to stay in the house with all his "family"...

Staying in a sleeping bag and on the ground was what I did in the first few hours.

But I couldn't sleep! He said he can let go of some space on the bed and sleep with him.

For my sake, of course I went to concur some land...

But the underlying reason why I couldn't sleep is...

I TOOK CAFFEINE!!!

How come gosh!? I was not drowsy at all.

I seek classical music but the ones in his iPod are bad...

I clicked online, wandering around until 4, until the family has to leave and head to London.

I was left behind with this Portuguese guy alone then............

我好想擺脫呢一切